Today it is about why; why do white men buy asian (or for that matter, any other lowbudget countries’) women? And why do thai women ”want” to become prostitutes?
There are several reasons why men happily travel across the globe to buy love, sex, and more or less a whole girlfriend experience. Probably as many reasons as there are buyers, but here are the most common I’ve stumbled upon, and what I think about these bad examples of excuses from bad examples of people.
1. It’s not the same thing!
Probably the most common excuse states that it’s not the same thing buying sex in Thailand as back home, and by that they’re usually referring to the statement that the thai culture don’t view the prostitution the same way we westerners do, and it’s not really sex you’re buying, because it’s so much more. Since 1960 prostitution has been illegal in Thailand, however the law is not strictly enforced.
Are ALL thai women available and are they all hookers?
What makes me a bit afraid is however this article on Thai World View.
”Thai women are neither prurient nor are they passive. They're like women everywhere. They want to be respected, have equal rights with men and be treated like human beings. ”
I started thinking and it’s probably right, the farang men look at the thai women – now I’m referring to my own experiences here, the one with Jane in Bangkok, and what that idiot from Holland in my class said and how he said it: ”Poor farang people who come to Thailand and get cheated by Thai women!” OK, farangs are not cheated by thai women – but by thai prostitutes, whether or not they have the sense to separate the two is a completely different issue.
If you have this opinion that all thai women are for sale and don’t understand the difference, then of course it’s simple to justify this behaviour with a simple shrug and the words: ”It’s not the same thing!”
2. I like asian girls; I get turned on by the exotic.
WHAT? I don’t buy this crap. If you like asian girls why don’t you turn to the ones you don’t have to buy? I’m not trying to hide the fact I like asian guys, but I’m not buying them, because that’s below my dignity and so appalling it turns me off even thinking about it.
What’s the attraction of having sex with somebody, or even worse, having a conversation with somebody who’s only reason for being there is because you’re paying her?
The whole of Thailand is full of regular, beautiful, smart, honest, and well educated women (or if you prefer an unusual, ugly, dense, cheating analfabet there are probably a whole heap of those too), so why not turn to them? The answer is as simple as it’s embarrassing; because with those women these men don’t stand a chance.
Or is it simply as this article on Thai World View is insinuating: that farang in their stupidity really believe that a prostitute constitutes the norm for a thai woman? In that case I’m really scared.
3. It’s not just about sex!
Some make the excuse that it’s about so much more than sex. It’s simply a whole experience – a girlfriend experience. Well, yes, of course it is. Probably from the buyer’s point of view, but I can guarantee that it’s not about anything else but money for the one being bought, so it doesn’t really matter whether you’re holding her hand in the street or just using her as a carrymat. Real feelings or something real is extremely rare. ”Pretty Woman” in reality? Not so much.
4. Farang women are so incredibly nagging/bad lovers/stupid/equality fixated/egocentric/horrible etc.
These are definitions I’ve picked up here and there on different fora, and they’re all from farangs who go to Thailand because they’re, according to themselves, sick of us Swedish women. In a previous post I linked to a comment on a Swedish blog post. Here is another comment and I don’t even know how to refute this one. Apparantly we, Swedish women are incredibly boring in bed… ? Bateyed? This is obviously a middle aged man who is extremely self righteous and very bitter (I’m most definately not judgemental). Swedish women don’t really have the reputation of being bad lovers, and not unusually bateyed, at least this is not something I – as a Swedish woman – have experienced during all of my travels. On the contrary, we are pretty well coveted (excuse me for banging on my own drum here), just like Swedish men, because we are somehow considered rather pleasant.
Besides I do believe you’re at least two in a bad sex experience; seems like a tough job to all by yourself cause such a bad experience – I mean what does the man do while the Swedish woman is sucking (pardon the pun)? Apparantly he is not very inspiring either.
I can understand that you, as a weak man, can’t handle us Swedish women today, that you might think we are too independent; Sweden is actually one of the most equal countries in the world.
Translated comment from Swedish:
Thai girls are in general far more fun in bed than Swedes – so much funnier. The one who won’t have the experience is the one to blame. I can only remember a couple of Swedes who were really fun in bed – most of them were pretty boring.
"The woman decides over her own body” Isn’t that what they say? Should Thai girls let themselves be controlled by bateyed ladies in Sweden?
Unfortunately this is not debateable – the premise is so distorted. Much like the EU – they said the ”neutrality politics” made membership impossible, but suddenly one morning it was obvious that wasn’t the case – but never a debate.”
Why do Thai women ”want” to be prostitutes?
So why are there so many Thai women who are prostitutes? Are they really working with their occupation of their dreams? Is this something they want to do? Did they dream about a life as a prostitute when they were kids?
I don’t think so, and in all honesty, I don’t believe any other normal person really believes that deep down inside. After having read some in the subject, and while seeing them everyday, so well, yeah, there are probably those who prefer to work as a prostitute because you can earn a great deal. In all countries and within all peoples there will always be humans who can do anything for money, no matter the costs. There are even people in our western countries working as prostitutes because they like the money and the things they buy. Why not? It is the 21st century. BUT, the greater part of the girls/women in this country are guaranteed not in the business they would be had they had other alternatives.
In a Swedish newspaper called Expressen I read an article about Swedish men who go to Thailand in order to buy sex. In this article a 20-year old prostitute says that she does it for the money, because she can earn more here than anywhere, but that doesn’t mean she’s doing this because she likes it, but simply that she’s a slave for money. It probably seems as a good option when you’re young and innocent, but I doubt those standing there having the hindsight really would’ve chosen the occupation a second time. Or she might be one of the few who really enjoys money, what do I know?
Another one says she does it because she needs the money in order to help her family and the chance to find a western husband. Let’s face it – farang men go to Thailand and almost exclusively see prostitutes, so the chance is pretty big she might meet somebody who’d also like to get married. According to Thai World View a daughter’s task is to show gratitude by being self sacrificing, which is also a hint to why they chose to work as prostitutes and earn a greater buck – they can support their families.
What else would a poor, Thai woman do? What does the future look like when you’re not born with any silver spoons?
Her options are very limited; 6 years schooling and after that follows a low paid job. Of course being able to support one’s family is very tempting, even if you have to sell yourself. Especially if you’re not aware in advance of how bad it could be.
Thai World View is a very good place for information, and this article I mentioned is great and have lots of interesting facts. It also states that illegal gangs travel around the northern parts of the country (the northern parts of Thailand are the poorest). Many girls believe they are going to Bangkok, Pattaya, Phuket etc to work in households, but some of them know what it’s all about.
"bad women", phuying mai di
Nomadic Matt whom I linked to in pt 2 told us how Thai people don’t really dislike or looked down upon the prostitutes, and he of all people should know, since he’s been living in the country and really talking to the locals. As I’ve written before, Thai people don’t spend their time looking down on other people in the regard we westerners do, but… and here we go. Thai people are very complicated. Asians in general are complicated for us westerners who walk around with our opinions and feelings like big neon signs on our fore heads. They are rarely really, really honest, because they are extremely worried about hurting other people’s feelings. You don’t want to embarrass another person. So when Nomadic Matt asked whether or not the society looks down on the prostitutes he probably got the answer no – no sane human being here (or maybe even back home) would ever admit to looking down on another person – that reflects in the way you act and certain statements, for example having bad nicknames for prostitutes like ”bad woman” or ”woman looking for food” in thai. Just as here in the west, where we don’t really like to mix with the prostitutes down the street, the Thai people are not to fond of these fellow country women.
Low castes = bad human beings
In Nepal where the caste system is both old and forbidden by law, my ex-boyfriend, who belonged to the second highest caste – the priests, still not admit that the garbage collectors could actually be good people. When we passed through their neighbourhood and the street lights were off due the government’s electricity savings he advised me to be on my toes, because we were in the hood of the bad people, so to speak, and you shouldn’t trust them. Ever. But in another conversation he didn’t care the least about what caste people were part of. All humans were equally valuable in the eyes of Buddha. Somewhat ambiguous?
The sex rumours are destroying the country’s attraction
The first time I came here, during the happy 20th century, to be more specific the year of 1995, I didn’t even want to come here, due to all the weird sex rumours I had heard. I imagined a dirty, unattractive country which I saw no reason to visit. I am very happy that Pernilla managed to persuade me to expand my horizons. Still today some people frown upon the mentioning of Thailand, because the only things they think about are sex, hookers, and disgusting pedophiles. It’s extremely tragic, and Thailand has a long way to go before they’ve cleaned out their back yard, but here we, as visitors have an incredibly big responsibility, since we are an enormous part of the buying and stimuli of this whole business.
Straight up in the saddle?
Pernilla and me were during our stay on Koh Samui invited by an Italian guy to a gogo-bar. He had gotten his heart broken by a ”bargirl”. He had bought her for one night, attraction arose (at least from his side anyway), so he kept extending, and extending until one month had passed. When the month was over and he wanted to continue cuddling she told him he had to pay the bar she worked in if he wanted to continue seeing her. He was incredibly hurt, because he really believed this was true love. It ended, but now he was ready for new heart breaks, now he wanted to get out there, finding a new ”bargirl”. Pernilla and me thought it could be fun getting to see the inside of a gogo-bar (young and uncomprehending as we were), so of course we tagged along with the idiot. But despite the fact that some of the girls inside were amazingly beautiful and sexy, I couldn’t help but notice their empty, detached look in their eyes. Those girls were not there because they were doing something they enjoyed – I mean let’s be honest here. What sane person would designate their life to an occupation where you have to sleep with despicable people? Every evening, every night. No, that’s not something you want to do, that’s something you have to do, or just end up doing through bad choices or lack of alternatives. It’s not a conscious choice you make as a woman. And then having the indeceny expressing yourself with such insensitivity about the issue; trying to twist this to every woman’s right to decide over her own body – it’s totally incomprehensible. Or that it’s not the same thing, or that it’s about more than sex. I find no words for such a complete lack of knowledge, normal sense or empathy.
Please continue commenting – I don’t want to be the only bateyed here. ;) But I’d also like to hear from some males – from both camps, too.
To be continued...
Would you like to know more? These posts are from farang men themselves. Enjoy or vomit, which ever works for you!
Here you can read about why white men throw themselves on airplanes across the glove to have the honour of buying love with a warm thai prostitute.
Indeed. OMG what a complete moron. I’m not surprised why this person have to go to Thailand in order to buy a woman.